Celibacy - is it necessary for spirituality?

[jannisder]

[t][tr][td][/td][td]A chastity belt is a locking item of clothing designed to prevent sexual intercourse and possibly masturbation. The purpose may also be to protect the wearer from rape or temptation. Devices have been created for males and females.

The term "chastity belt" is also used metaphorically in modern English to imply over protectiveness. The term carries a derisive connotation and may also imply that the subject is antiquated, or is cumbersome, or provides unnecessary or ineffective protection. Should be handed out by BKWSO at the first day of the 7 day course or for sale at the BK shops.

Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite ... :lol:.[/td][/tr][/t]

[bansy]

To be honest jan dear, it looks like something you could also strap on the head instead ! :P

[tinydot]

You guys are very funny, :lol:.

Now, since I don't have anything of that sort available - unless I wrap scotch tape around my pyjama pants - and since my hormonal state (fertile days, mid-cycle, some thing similar to any female mammal's heat), puts me at risk, what shall I do?

For singles, you've got this big problem of controlling this hormonal state if you think releasing it through self-gratification is a sin. Whereas, if you've got a spouse or a partner, you can just simply request for a session of "touch therapy" to deflate the "balloon".

[fluffy bunny]

Hi, Joel, thanks for the "Mormon's link". It is so funny that a copy of that should go in the jokes session.

I think it is worth having here. I am sure the "official" BK version is much the same ... or we can write one. I think having a life sized picture of Janki Kripalani by your bed is said to work. I am sure that the vision of alladin in their pajamas, wrapped up in scotch tape, is already giving some of the boy's criminal thoughts! :shock:

Scratch it once and you are on the path to hell, folks.

A Guide to Self-Control

• Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
• If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
• When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
• If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
• Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
• Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!

Suggestions

• Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and not lout when the temptations are the strongest.
Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
• When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "STOP" to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to ... never again ... you will always be open to temptation.
• Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
• Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
• Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.
• Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
• Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
• A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
• During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
• Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.
• Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
• Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
• Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
• It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
• In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
• Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.
• Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

[joel]

I think it is worth having here. I am sure the "official" BK version is much the same ... or we can write one. I think having a life sized picture of Janki Kripalani by your bed is said to work. I am sure that the vision of alladin in their pyjamas, wrapped up in scotch tape, is already giving some of the boy's criminal thoughts! Scratch it once and you are on the path to hell, folks.

I was in Madhuban one year to hear Nirwair's talk for brothers on how to overcome "impure dreams". "Don't sleep with your legs crossed" is all that I can recall of his advice.

I actually used to write letters about my failures in "self-control" until I realized that writing letters did not lead me to the divine help I thought I needed to overcome what I believed to be weakness.

[alladin]

What Jannister proposed, a chastity belt,

"Should be handed out by BKWSO at the first day of the 7 day course or for sale at the BK shops. "

would make a lot of sense. Unfortunately BKs are not straightforward enough to do that and what would VIPs think? It'd be disseviceable!

Better to sell New Age looking books, cds and posters, and create the eunuchs' army, behind the public façade, through mental castration. So, after all the "reverse psychology" and double standards, we could see the BK version of sex shops. Months ago, the sexy poster of BB with glowing balls, was an interesting, eye catching item to start with!

Tinydot, come on, balloon deflating doesn't sound romantic or fulfilling at all. However, it's a good yukti for abstinence-freaks to depict sex as a mere, totally gross, feeling-less "release". Old Bhakti vision, to describe bodies as sacks of dirt, in order to instil distaste for them.

About touch therapy, what comes to my mind is the fact that in many cultures, massage is a very common thing. Most traditions (India is one) except the West, have that. And not only adults with adults but mothers massaging babies, children massaging aching limbs of grandparents. And what about Scandinavian countries or Japan, where sitting naked in a spa, hot tub or sauna is a custom into which no prudishness can interfere? How do BKs from such liberal backgrounds deal with the puritan impositions of the Yagya?

Same old stories of malicious missionaries telling the natives to cover up their nakedness, instilling a sense of shame and sin in innocent souls! What's the benefit of creating bodyconsciousness where there was none to start with?

Bad karma, man! :evil:

[fluffy bunny]

So, after all the "reverse psychology" and double standards, we could see the BK version of sex shops. Months ago, the sexy poster of BB with glowing balls, was an interesting, eye catching item to start with!

I like the idea ... the BKs ridiculously accused us of making money off this site. We should do.

• ... by selling chastity belts and other "purity aids" like handcuffs to cuff the brother's hands to the bed posts when they sleep!!!

[joel]

I like the idea ... the BKs ridiculously accused us of making money off this site. We should do

... by selling chastity belts and other "purity aids" like handcuffs to cuff the Brother's hands to the bed posts when they sleep!!!

And a line of romance novels:

• Deeper Brotherhood

Angelica was a perfect BK, cared nothing for the world except Baba's service. But when Dadi Janki sent Augusto to live at the center, he drew her into a world of intense emotions, raw feelings, love and pain.

[jannisder]

Unfortunately BKs are not straightforward enough to do that and what would VIPs think? It'd be disseviceable! Aladin wrote ...

Of course not, first they need time to make you believe that your body is the most disgusting thing you can ever imagine ( some kind of a loving Father that gave you one). Give you all the things that can happen if you ever have any bodily feelings and so one. Feel bodily love? ... you are disgusting!!

Never told you that love can be wonderful and ever so spiritual.

But many souls are not ready for that. Time will come ...

[fluffy bunny]

And a line of romance novels ...

I think we have found your métier, Joel. I am hooked already ... what happens next :!:

[bro neo]

Q: Celibacy - is it necessary for spirituality?:
A: Depends on your definition of spirituality.

For BKs the answer is a 110% Absolute yes! If fact according to them anyone who is having sex is de-evolving and for BKs, they get demoted and hurt badly in their BK status, future Job titles, salary and pension.

[alladin]

Depends also on the definition of celibacy, as often Bap-Dada himself pointed out in Avyakt Murli!!

Joel, shall we all contribute to the novel, so that we can express our phantasies, and mock the suppression- instigators from this site??

"Without even realizing, Angelica found herself by the cosmetic shelf in the dept store looking for some wax or shaving cream to use for her legs. At the back of her mind, many questions arose such as, "is this body consciousness, is it Maya inspiring me to do so? Can I use Baba's money to buy this??", but dismissed them in one shot thinking that hairy legs can be disserviceable.

"Oh, Baba", she thought passing in front of a mirror, "I should get back into a pre-Gyan shape! The brother has such a sweet drishti, is very cooperative and I saw he's really fit under the kurta pyjamas; broad shoulders, and nice hands ... its God's blessing that he was sent here to help!"

[jannisder]

Definition of celibacy, "look cool". "You want me but you can not have me, so i am wanted..." (ego tripper).

"But i masturbate my eyes out, visit porn-websites, have lustful thoughts, look at magazines ... and all day i dream about sex ... sneaky things ... no one will see". Honestly, "One has a sexual problem" and now, one has an excuse not to perform. What a relieve! So what is your problem???

Celibacy is definitely not necessary for spirituality.

It is the thermometer for cult leaders to see how far they get get you to surrender. If you do this, will do anything ... just the way they like it.

[freedom]

alladin, you made me laugh, thanks !! Do you have that brother's connection ??? I shave my legs now !!! :shock:

[alladin]

Freedom, we are so perverted on the Forum that that brother connection was from another Brother: Joel. So Augusto is HIS fantasy!! But I do like making up stories, and listening to them? So when we have the ex-BK retreat, can we all treat each other to some?

Jannis, possibly your statement;

Celibacy is definitely not necessary for spirituality. It is the thermometer for cult leaders to see how far they get get you to surrender. If you do this, will do anything ... just the way they like it.

was the best I heard on the Forum. You won the gold medal in the Forum Olympics in my heart. Simple, clear and true. At least you didn not suffer for nothing, you gave the world this gift.

When I first heard this, in other words, my eyes opened. It is like a Golden Key and the BK throws s*** and accusations on people who don't accept that, calling them lustful, out of shame and guilt, so they don't question or rebel to brainwashing!!